Two brothers, whose names I need not mention here, were both good friends of mine in high school; but after a
separation of many years we gradually lost touch. Some time ago I happened to hear that one of them was seriously
ill, and since I was going back to my old home I broke my journey to call on them. I saw only one, however, who told
me that the invalid was his younger brother.

"I appreciate your coming such a long way to see us," he said, "but my brother recovered some time ago and has gone
elsewhere to take up an official post." Then, laughing, he produced two volumes of his brother's diary, saying that
from these the nature of his past illness could be seen and there was no harm in showing them to an old friend. I
took the diary away, read it through, and found that he had suffered from a form of persecution complex. The
writing was most confused and incoherent, and he had made many wild statements; moreover he had omitted to give any
dates. so that only by the colour of the ink and the differences in the writing could one tell that it was not
all written at one time. Certain sections, however, were not altogether disconnected, and I have copied out a part
to serve as a subject for medical research. I have not altered a single illogicality in the diary and have
changed only the names, even though the people referred to are all country folk, unknown to the world and of no
consequence. As for the title, it was chosen by the diarist himself after his recovery, and I did not change it.

I

Tonight the moon is very bright.

I have not seen it for over thirty years, so today when I saw it I felt in unusually high spirits. I begin to
realize that during the past thirty-odd years I have been in the dark; but now I must be extremely careful.
Otherwise why should the Zhaos' dog have looked at me twice?

I have reason for my fear.

II

Tonight there is no moon at all, I know that this is a bad omen. This morning when I went out cautiously, Mr. Zhao
had a strange look in his eyes, as if he were afraid of me, as if he wanted to murder me. There were seven or
eight others who discussed me in a whisper. And they were afraid of my seeing them. so, indeed, were all the people
I passed. The fiercest among them grinned at me; whereupon I shivered from head to foot, knowing that their
preparations were complete.

I was not afraid, however, but continued on my way. A group of children in front were also discussing me, and
the look in their eyes was just like that in Mr. Zhao's while their faces too were ghastly pale. I wondered what
grudge these children could have against me to make them behave like this. I could not help calling out, "Tell me!"
But then they ran away.

I wonder what grudge Mr. Zhao has against me, what grudge the people on the road have against me. I can think of
nothing except that twenty years ago I trod on Mr. Gu Jiu's old ledgers, and Mr. Gu was most displeased.
Although Mr. Zhao does not know him, he must have heard talk of this and decided to avenge him, thus he is
conspiring against me with the people on the road. But then what of the children? At that time they were not yet
born, so why should they eye me so strangely today, as if they were afraid of me, as if they wanted to murder me?
This really frightens me, it is so bewildering and upsetting.

I know. They must have learned this from their parents!

III

I can't sleep at night. Everything requires careful consideration if one is to understand it.

Those people, some of whom have been pilloried by the magistrate, slapped in the face by the local gentry, had
their wives taken away by bailiffs or their parents driven to suicide by creditors, never looked as frightened and as
fierce then as they did yesterday.

The most extraordinary thing was that woman on the street yesterday who was spanking her son. "Little devil!" she
cried. "I'm so angry I could eat you!" Yet all the time it was me she was looking at. I gave a start, unable to hide
my alarm. Then all those long-toothed people with livid faces began to hoot with laughter. Old Chen hurried
forward and dragged me home.

He dragged me home. The folk at home all pretended not to know me; they had the same look in their eyes as all the
others. When I went into the study, they locked me in as if cooping up a chicken or a duck. This incident left me
even more bewildered.

A few days ago a tenant of ours from Wolf Cub Village came to report the failure of the crops and told my elder
brother that a notorious character in their village had been beaten to death; then some people had taken out his
heart and liver, fried them in oil, and eaten them as a means of increasing their courage. When I interrupted, the
tenant and my brother both stared at me. Only today have I realized that they had exactly the same look in their eyes
as those people outside.

Just to think of it sets me shivering from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet.

They eat human beings, so they may eat me.

I see that the woman's "eat you," the laughter of those long-toothed people with livid faces, and the tenant's
story the other day are obviously secret signs. I realize all the poison in their speech, all the daggers in their
laughter. Their teeth are white and glistening: they use these teeth to eat men.

Evidently, although I am not a bad man, ever since I trod on Mr. Gu's ledgers it had been touch-and-go with me. They
seem to have secrets which I cannot guess, and once they are angry they will call anyone a bad character. I
remember when my elder brother taught me to write compositions, no matter how good a man was, if I produced
arguments to the contrary he would mark that passage to show his approval; while if I excused evildoers he would
say, "Good for you, that shows originality." How can I possibly guess their secret thoughts - especially when
they are ready to eat people?

Everything requires careful consideration if one is to understand it. In ancient times as I recollect, people
often ate human beings,  but I am rather hazy about it. I tried to look this up, but my history has no chronology and
scrawled all over each page are the words:

"Confucian Virtue and Morality." Since I could not sleep anyway, I read intently half the night until I began to
see words between the lines. The whole book was filled with the two words -"Eat people."

All these words written in the book, all the words spoken by our tenant, eye me quizzically with an enigmatic smile.

I too am a man, and they want to eat me!

IV

In the morning I sat quietly for some time. Old Chen brought in lunch: one bowl of vegetables, one bowl of
steamed fish. The eyes of the fish were white and hard, and its mouth was open just like those people who want to
eat human beings. After a few mouthfuls I could not tell whether the slippery morsels were fish or human flesh, so
I brought it all up.

I said, "Old Chen, tell my brother that I feel quite suffocated and want to have a stroll in the garden." Old
Chen said nothing but went out, and presently he came back and opened the gate.

I did not move but watched to see how they would treat my, feeling certain that they would not let me go. Sure
enough! My elder brother came slowly out, leading an old man. There was a murderous gleam in his eyes, and fearing
that I would see it he lowered his head, stealing side-glances at me from behind his glasses.

"You seem very well today," said my brother.

"Yes," said I.

"I have invited Mr. Ho here today to examine you."

"All right," I replied. Actually I knew quite well that this old man was the executioner in disguise! Feeling my
pulse was simply a pretext for him to see how fat I was; for this would entitle him to a share of my flesh. Still I
was not afraid. Although I do not eat men my courage is greater that theirs. I held out my two fists to see what
he would do. The old man sat down, closed his eyes, fumbled for some time, remained motionless for a while;
then opened his shifty eyes and said, "Don't let your imagination run away with you. Rest quietly for a few
days, and you will be better."

Don't let your imagination run away with you! Rest quietly for a few days! By fattening me of course they'll have
more to eat. But what good will it do me? How can it be "better"? The whole lot of them wanting to eat people yet
stealthily trying to keep up appearances, not daring to do it outright, was really enough to make me die of laughter.
I couldn't help it, I nearly split my sides, I was so amused. I knew that this laughter voiced courage and
integrity.

Both the old man and my brother turned pale, awed by my courage and integrity.

But my courage just makes them all the more eager to eat me, to acquire some of my courage for themselves. The old
man went out of the gate, but before he had gone far he said to my brother in a low voice, "To be eaten at once!"
My brother nodded. So you are in it too! This stupendous discovery, though it came as a shock, is no more than I
might expect: the accomplice in eating me is my elder brother!

The eater of human flesh is my elder brother!

I am the younger brother of an eater of human flesh!

I, who will be eaten by others, am the younger brother of an eater of human flesh!

V

These few days I have been thinking again: suppose that old man were not an executioner in disguise, but a real
doctor; he would be nonetheless an eater of human flesh. that book on herbs by his predecessor Li Shizhen states
explicitly that men's flesh can be boiled and eaten; how then can he still deny that he eats men?

As for my elder brother, I have also good reason to suspect him.

When he was teaching me, he told me himself, "People exchange their sons to eat." And once in discussing a bad
man he said that not only did the fellow deserve to be killed, he should "have his flesh eaten and his hide slept
on." I was still young at the time, and for quite a while my heart beat faster. That story our tenant from Wolf Cub
Village told the other day about eating a man's heart and liver didn't surprise him at all - he kept nodding his
head. He is evidently just as cruel as before. Since it is possible to "exchange sons to eat," then anything can be
exchanged, anyone can be eaten. In the past I simply listened to his explanations and let it go at that; now I
know that when he gave me these explanations, not only was there human fat at the corner of his lips, but his whole
heart was set on eating men.

VI

Pitch dark. I don't know whether it is day or night. The Zhao's dog has started barking again.

The fierceness of a lion, the timidity of a rabbit, the craftiness of a fox ...

VII

I know their way: they are not prepared to kill outright, nor would they dare, for fear of the consequences. Instead
they have banded together and set traps everywhere, to force me to kill myself.

The behavior of the men and women in the street a few days ago and my elder brother's attitude these last few days
make it quite obvious.

What they like best is for a man to take off his belt and hang himself from a beam; for then they can enjoy their
hearts' desire without being blamed for murder. Naturally that delights them and sets them roaring with laughter. On
the other hand, if a man is frightened or worried to death, though that makes him rather thin, they still nod
in approval.

They only eat dead flesh! I remember reading somewhere of a hideous beast with an ugly look in its eye called
"hyena," which often eats dead flesh. Even the largest bones it crunches in fragments and swallows; the mere
thought of this makes your hair stand on end.

Hyenas are related to wolves, wolves belong to the canine species. the other day the Zhaos' dog eyed me several
times: it is obviously in the plot too as their accomplice. The old man's eyes were cast down, but that
did not deceive me.

The most deplorable is my elder brother. He's a man too, so why isn't he afraid, why is he plotting with others to
eat me? Does force of habit blind a man to what's wrong? Or is he so heartless that he will knowingly commit a
crime?

In cursing man-eaters, I shall start with my brother. In dissuading man-eaters, I shall start with him too.

VIII

Actually such arguments should have convinced them long ago ... Suddenly someone came in. He was only about twenty years
old and I did not see his features very clearly. His face was wreathed in smiles, but when he nodded to me his smile
didn't seem genuine. I asked him, "Is it right to eat human beings?"

Still smiling, he replied, "When there is no famine how can one eat human beings?"

I realized at once he was one of them; but still I summoned up courage to repeat my question:

"Is it right?"

"What makes you ask such a thing? You really are ... fond of a joke ... It is very fine today."

"It is fine, and the moon is very bright. But I want to ask you:

Is it right?"

He looked disconcerted and muttered, "No ..."

"No? Then why do they still do it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? They are eating men now in Wolf Cub Village, and you can see it written all over the
books, in fresh red ink."

His expression changed. He grew ghastly pale. "It may be so," he said staring at me. "That's the way it's always
been ..."

"Does that make it right?"

"I refuse to discuss it with you. Anyway, you shouldn't talk about it. It's wrong for anyone to talk about it."

I leaped up and opened my eyes wide, but the man had vanished. I was soaked with sweat. He was much younger
than my elder brother, but even so he was in it. He must have been taught by his parents. And I am afraid he has
already taught his son; that is why even the children look at me so fiercely.

IX

Wanting to eat men, at the same time afraid of being eaten themselves, they all eye each other with the deepest
suspicion ...

How comfortable life would be for them if they could rid themselves of such obsessions and go to work, walk, eat
and sleep at ease.

They have only this one step to take. Yet fathers and sons, husbands and wives, brothers, friends, teachers and
students, sworn enemies and even strangers, have all joined in this conspiracy, discouraging and preventing
each other from taking his step.

X

Early this morning I went to find my elder brother. He was standing outside the hall door looking at the sky when I
walked up behind him, standing between him and the door, and addressed him with exceptional poise and politeness:

"Brother, I have something to say to you."

"Go ahead then." He turned quickly towards me, nodding.

"It's nothing much, but I find it hard to say. Brother, probably all primitive people ate a little human flesh to
begin with. Later, because their views altered some of them stopped and tried so hard to do what was right that
they changed into men, into real men. But some are still eating people - just like reptiles. Some have changed into
fish, birds, monkeys, and finally men; but those who make no effort to do what's right are still reptiles. When
those who eat men compare themselves with those who don't, how ashamed they must be. Probably much more ashamed than
the reptiles are before monkeys.

"In ancient times Yi Ya boiled his son for Jie and Zhou to eat; that is the old story. But actually since the
creation of heaven and earth by Pan Gu men have eating each other, from the time of Yi Ya's son to the time of Xu Xilin,
and from the time of Xu Xilin down to the man caught in Wolf Cub Village. Last year they executed a criminal in the city, and a
consumptive soaked a piece of bread in his blood and sucked it.

"They want to eat me, and of course you can do nothing about it single-handed; but why must you join them? As
man-eaters they are capable of anything. If they eat me, they can eat you as well; members of the same group can
still eat each other. But if you will just change your ways, change right away, then everyone will have peace.

Although this has been going on since time immemorial, today we could make a special effort to do what is right,
and say this can't be done!

I'm sure you can say that, Brother. The other day when the tenant wanted the rent reduced, you said it couldn't be
done."

At first he only smiled cynically, then a murderous gleam came into his eyes, and when I spoke of their secret he
turned pale. Outside the gate quite a crowd had gathered, among them Mr. Zhao and his dog, all craning their necks
to peer in. I could not see all their faces, some of them seemed to be masked; others were the old lot, long-toothed
with livid faces, concealing their laughter. I knew they did not all think alike by any means. Some of them thought
that since it had always been so, men should be eaten. Others knew they shouldn't eat men but still wanted to,
and were afraid people might discover their secret; so although what I said made them angry they still smiled
their cynical, tight-lipped smiles.

Suddenly my brother's face darkened.

"Clear off, the whole lot of you!" he roared. "What's the point of looking at a madman?"

Then I realized part of their cunning. They would never be willing to change their stand, and their plans were all
laid: they had labelled me a madman. In future when I was eaten, not only would there be no trouble but people would
probably be grateful to them.

When our tenant spoke of the villagers eating a bad character, it was exactly the same device. This is their
old trick.

Old Chen came in too in a towering temper. But they could not stop my mouth. I had to warn those people:

"You should change, change from the bottom of your hearts. You must realize that there will be no place for
man-eaters in the world in future.

"If you don't change, you may all be eaten by each other.

However many of you there are, you will be wiped out by the real men,

just as wolves are killed by hunters - just like reptiles!"

Old Chen drove everybody away. My brother had disappeared. Old Chen advised me to go back to my room.
It was pitch dark in there. The beams and rafters shook above my head. After shaking for a while they bigger
and bigger. They piled on top of me. The weight was so great, I couldn't move. They meant that
I should die. However, knowing that the weight was false I struggled out, dripping with sweat. But I had to warn
them:

"You must change at once, change from the bottom of your hearts!

You must know that there'll be no place for man-eaters in future ..."

XI

The sun has stopped shining, the door is never opened. Just two meals day after day.

Picking up my chopsticks, I thought of my elder brother. I know now how my little sister died: it was all through
him. My sister was only five at the time. I can still remember how sweet she looked, poor thing. Mother wept as
if she would never stop, but he begged her not to cry, probably because he had eaten our sister himself and so
this weeping made him rather ashamed. If he had any sense of shame ...

My sister was eaten by my brother, but I don't know whether Mother realized it or not.

I think Mother must have known, but when she wept she didn't say so outright, probably because she also thought
it proper. I remember when I was four or five, sitting in the cool of the hall, my brother told me that if a man's
parents were ill he should cut off a piece of his flesh and boil it for them, if he wanted to be considered a good
son; and Mother didn't contradict him. If one piece could be eaten, obviously so could the whole. And yet just to
think of the weeping then still makes my heart bleed; that is the extraordinary thing about it!

XII

I can't bear to think of it. It has only just dawned on me that all these years I have been living in a place where for
four thousand years human flesh has been eaten. My brother had just taken over the charge of the house when our
sister died, and he may well have used her flesh in our food, making us eat it unwittingly. I may have eaten several
pieces of my sister's flesh unwittingly, and now it is my turn ...

How can a man like myself, after four thousand years of man-eating history - even though I knew nothing about it
at first - ever hope to face real men?
 

XIII

Perhaps there are still children who haven't eaten men?

Save the children ...
 

April 2, 1918